Mother, Avoid Speaking This Sentence to Children
Mother and Father, do not underestimate the effect of words being said on the child. Research finds that inappropriate sentences that he hears continuously, can make it difficult for children to manage emotions and difficult to form social relationships as adults.
Maybe Mother thinks that Mother's frequent sentence tells the child when she is rebuking him as a matter of course. However, it may be that this phrase makes the child less obedient.
This Sentence Might Often Say
Mother is in a hurry to cook before leaving for work. Only, the Eldest and Youngest took turns coming up with various requests. Starting from making cheese sandwiches, asking where the socks are next door, to ask where to go this weekend. The confused mother is out of control and says, "Already! Do not bother Mother again! "
Mother is not alone. Almost all mothers must have experienced a sense of regret for not deliberately saying things that might hurt the Little Person. Below are some examples of sentences that could have a negative impact on the child.
- "Do not bother Mother!"
Mother does need time and space for herself, apart from child. However, continuing to tell the child that Mother does not want to be disturbed can make her reluctant to re-interact with Mother.
- "You really shy/ chatty/ naughty"
Labeling a child by saying so will reinforce the nature of the Mother of criticism. Even words like "You're so lazy," "you're unruly," can hurt your child and affect his or her own perceptions. At other times, though Mother does not speak directly to the child, but she may be overheard as Mother talks to others.
- "You make Mother angry ya!"
It's okay if Mother does get annoyed. However, this sentence will only worsen the atmosphere and relationship with the child. This sentence actually aims to use guilt as a motivation for children to change. But the sentence actually makes the child easy to feel anxious and inferior, because he considers himself responsible for the feelings of others.
- "You why the hell?"
This sentence may appear out of nowhere when Mother finds the child doing something that Mother does not understand, like cutting her own hair, or eliminating her stuff over and over again. However, the sentence will also make him feel there is something wrong with him. Mother needs to remember that the child has a purpose for every action. This is what Mother needs to understand. Using shyness, fear, and guilt in children will not work in the long run, because it makes the child a source of trouble and does not focus on the real problem.
- Do not cry!
Saying "Do not cry," "Do not cry," "Do not be like a baby," will make the child feel that he feels wrong and that sad is the wrong thing. As a result, he will get used to denying and not accepting his own feelings.
- Why are you not like your sister?
Comparing the Little will only make him feel insecure and may want to be someone else. Mother needs to remember that each child grows at their own pace and readiness.
Using Positive Sentences in Children
Each family does have a parenting style or parenting respectively. However, it is important that the adopted parenting pattern builds mutual respect and respect, reflected in the words spoken to each other. Let's try, Bun, replace the negative sentences to be more positive.
- Show enthusiasm
Take Little to tell her about her daily life so she gets used to expressing her feelings. For example, "The teacher said you made a goal in a soccer game? Mother want to hear her story dong ". That way he will grow into a confident, important, and worthy personality.
- Remind the consequences of his actions
Little is often up late, so late to come to school. Instead of saying, "Mother has said many times do not be late to wake up. You do not care, " better choose a more rational sentence. If he can be invited to think, Mother can say something like, "School trip half an hour. So if you are late getting up, have to explain the reason to the teacher and get red points. "Sentences like this do not judge, do not control or show anxiety. However, the child will learn to realize the consequences of his actions.
- Identify and accept child feelings
Instead of denying, it's better to invite the child to recognize and accept the emotion he is feeling. By recognizing feelings, he will more easily express and make others also understand what he feels. Mother can help her by saying a phrase like, "Are you sad yes yesterday's exam score is not as expected? It is okay. We'll learn again later, yes. "
- Show me if there is an unacceptable attitude
Mother can start with a phrase like, "Mother sad if you slam the door," or "How would your friend feel if you took the toy?" This sentence will show that his behavior is unacceptable. Then the Mother can discuss what the child should do other than angry.
- Request help while busy
If there's anything to be done that demands focus, Mother can ask for help from relatives or housekeepers to take care of Little One for a while. If he is old enough, Mother can tell her, "Mother must do something quickly. You can draw a while, yes. When we're done we go together. "
Selecting a better sentence makes Mother and Father invite the child to learn to make better choices, including his attitude toward others. Most importantly, Mother and Father also need to avoid complaining or talking about negative things around the child. The child will quickly imitate the behavior of adults around him. Be aware, choosing the correct pronunciation of the child, is actually one of the important things in educating children.
Mother and Daddy, from now on choose to say a more positive sentence to the child, to each other, and to the people around.
